Work-Life Balance

As a mother of 2 young children who decided to ditch a stable and relatively comfortable corporate career and domestic helper to wash, cook, clean and look after my own family and kids at home, I absolutely agree with Nigel that we should not leave the quality of our life in the hands of incompatible jobs, other people and the government. We should stop looking to others for answers and to look inside for the type of balanced lives we each want to lead that fulfills our spiritual, mental, financial and physical needs.

As Nigel shares, we need to take stock of how much and what we really need rather than "working long hard hours at jobs they (we) hate, to earn enough money to buy things they(we) don't need to impress people that they(we) don't like".

His concluding point that "small things matter" and "approaching balance in a balanced way" is particularly important. Seeking a balance is not about making radical and dramatic changes to our current way of life. It is about making the smallest investments in the right places to improve the quality of our life and transform society's simplistic definition of success that "the person who dies with the most money wins" to a more "balanced definition of what a life well lived looks like".

Terrible Twos

If you have been following our home videos here and here, you would have noticed that my interaction with Vera very often draws a "No!" response.

Me: Give Mama this, please?

Vera: No!

While it was quite cute when we first found out that she could express herself so assertively, such moments have become quite tiring on days when I run out of patience. Experts call this period when children display such "bad" behaviour as the Terrible Twos.

The Terrible Twos are often characterized by oppositional behavior, mood changes, and temper tantrums. "No" becomes a favorite word. Apparently, this is considered normal parts of child development. The frustration and challenging behavior they display is often due to the fact that a toddler's ability to communicate hasn't caught up with his desire to communicate.

Here are some tips I found here to help manage a child that is in her terrible twos:

1. Make predictable routines part of your toddler's day.
2. Give regular healthy snacks to keep blood sugar steady.
3. Offer limited choices -- two to three options -- to your toddler (for example, "Do you want apple juice or orange juice in your sippy cup?").
4. Set limits (but expect him to test them).
5. Provide a safe, toddler-proofed environment for him.

I also found these 10 ways to tame your kid's tantrums quite useful. Of course, you would need to apply different methods depending on the circumstance...

1. Ignore the Kid. Often they are behaving badly to get your attention so paying too much attention means that your kid will learn that this is an effective way to get you to notice them.

2. Give your child some space. This allows him to get his anger out and hopefully regain self control on their own without getting into a yelling battle with you.

3. Create a diversion. We are getting quite good at this it is ridiculous the things my husband and I say just to create a diversion. Like, "Look! There is a rat there!" Kids usually have quite short attention span so get them interested in something else and the tantrum would stop.

4. Find out what is frustrating your kid. Perhaps they are tired?

5. Hugs. For reassurance especially if you sense they are insecure about something.

6. Offer food or some rest. Often, kids act up become they are simply tired. Imagine how we feel when we don't get enough sleep!

7. Give your kids some incentive to behave. Well, this works for people of all ages I guess.

8. Speak calmly. You lose if you end up acting like you are throwing a tandrum yourself!

9. Look calm and laugh it off if possible. Don't allow yourself to lose control.

10. Get out of there! A change of environment usually changes the behaviour.